I know what the ladies want

Apart from the obvious commercialization, the rip-off prices of flowers, the banality of cards, the need to publicly out-do friends and family year after year with shows of affection on Facebook (lest one gets accused of no longer being in love) and the fact that it comes so soon after receiving the Christmas credit card bill which highlights the futility of buying presents for someone that they don’t want or use, Valentine’s Day has always seemed a rather puerile affair.

Whilst the excitement of getting (or not getting) cards from
mysterious admirers was great fun when I was 12, I have to admit that it’s lost its shine a bit after nearly 20 years of marriage.

This year I decided to encapsulate my feelings in verse;

St Valentine’s Day 2019

Roses are red
That annual refrain
To guilt-trip husbands
And boyfriends again

Violets are blue
Continues the ditty 
I bought you a card
It’s cheap and it’s shitty

Flowers are a rip off
Chocs are a con
One week from now
They both will be gone

But I’ve got you a gift
One that’s personalized
A full 60 minutes
With my head ‘tween your thighs

Phil C.