The Internet – Part 1

Today’s poem is the first of several that I have in mind, and I will no doubt add to, regarding the internet.

This is light-hearted take on internet dating.

Remember when we met ….. on the internet

Remember when we met, on the internet,
That photo you sent me, I’ll never forget
You looked like a film star, Elizabeth Taylor
In person you’re more like Pinhead from Hellraiser
Your hair – long and blonde with cascading soft curls
But really it’s brown, short and not like a girl’s
You said you were tall, 5ft 10 without shoes
In truth you’re not more than 5-1 or 5-2
Your fav’rite black dress was size 10, I recall
In fact a size 20 wouldn’t cover it all
Claimed you were witty, a good sense of humour
I find you about as much fun as a tumour
A wearer of Gucci and Armani style?
I’ve seen those clothes hung in a Primark sale aisle

I realised that some of your claims were white lies
But you know love’s a matter of compromise
That you’re not the best looking, well neither am I
I’ll take your short hair if you’ll have this bald guy
Taller or shorter it really don’t matter
And to tell you the truth, I prefer women fatter
I’ve got enough jokes to make both of us smile
And whatever you wear you always beguile

But there is one last thing that I really believed
You called yourself Becky, but it isn’t . . . is it . . . Steve?

Phil C.