The Onanist Limerick

NaPoWriMo Day 4

And again, three days in a row, I’m hitting you with a post.

The justification here is that a couple of weeks ago I wrote The Bean Flick Limerick about a young woman arrested for ‘pleasuring herself’ on the London Underground, and today there is a similar story about a man “giving it a polish” on a bus in front of a woman who happened to be Naz Shah, the Labour MP for Bradford West.

So in the interests of gender balance I am compelled to write something about this too.  I should point out here that Ms Shah did not approach the man in any way and the reference to a “painful scar” is poetic licence.

The Onanist Limerick


Said an old onanist from Redcar
Who today has a painful long scar
If you tug on your pecker
On a double decker
Don’t do it in front of Naz Shah

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Phil C.