NaPoWriMo Update

Half Way

We’re over half way through April and that means over half way through National Poetry Writing Month.

This is the first time I’ve taken part in #NaPoWriMo and for the most part I’m quite enjoying it.

I’ve managed to keep up with the poem-a-day challenge and produced a few verses that I rather like. I’ll publish the remainder at the end of the month.

Make sure you follow me on Twitter and now on Instagram too.

So far three – The Nick Boles Limerick, Theresa’s Sold Out and The Onanist Limerick – have justified a post in their own right. The poems that I wrote for Days 5 to 16 are featured here in words, and are also on the Gallery page.

Those underlined are of a political nature, the rest are not;

  1. Walk to work Day
  2. A Fib
  3. Sunday lunch
  4. A Nation of Lions Led By EU Mules
  5. Nine
  6. Ten
  7. Waitrose ducks
  8. Grilled cheese
  9. Triskaidekaphobia
  10. Sonnet for Sunday
  11. First 15
  12. Bowel cancer awareness

Walk to work Day

April 5th is National Walk to Work Day

Walk to Work Day ?  I’d rather not
You can call me lazy, I care not a jot
It might be too cold, it might be too hot
Plus I live 30 miles away, and that’s quite a lot

A Fib

Written as a Fibonacci poem, each line has an increasing number syllables per the Fibonacci series: 1-1-2-3-5-8-13

Was never
Going to be served
MPs: Con Men, Traitors, Bastards
We will never forget and never forgive this act

Sunday lunch

This is in Epulaeryu form. A specific type of poem about food with a syllable count of 7-5-7-5-5-3-1

Favourite meal? Sunday lunch
Beef, lamb, pork, chicken
Or any combination
Loads of greens and spuds
Gravy, Yorkshire puds

A Nation of Lions Led By EU Mules

An Ottava Rima form, eight lines with a-b-a-b-a-b-c-c rhyming.

Corbyn and May, worst double act in hist’ry
Liars and cheats, taking us all for fools
Skilled in the ancient practice of sophistry
A Nation of Lions led by EU mules
Happy to preach Brussels’ evangelist’ry
Verhofstadt, Tusk and Juncker’s useful tools
Through it all our strength will not be withered
We will see that Brexit is delivered


Made up my own form here – a nine line poem with syllable count 3-6-9-3-6-9-3-6-9;

Nine – three squared
Three plus three plus three is
Nine. Take any multiple of Nine
The sum of
Those digits is always
Nine. Atomic number of Fluorine
On cloud nine
A stitch in time saves nine
Does a cat-o-nine-tails have nine lives?


I’m a big fan of nonsense verse (Edward Lear and the like). Here’s an attempt from me;


Waitrose ducks

Andaree form which is quite complex. It is syllabic, with lines of 11-9-7-5-3-1-3-5-7-9-11 and has a rhyme scheme: AabbcbcbbaA. Quite pleased with the result;

Waitrose are not selling racist Easter Ducks
What’s the matter with you PC cucks?
Could you make our lives duller?
Ban ducks of colour
Virtue signal purr
Can’t things go back how they were?
Offensive chocolate? don’t give two fucks
Waitrose are not selling racist Easter Ducks

Grilled cheese sandwich day

12th April is grilled cheese sandwich day.

This is in Rondeau Prime form. A short variation of the Rondeau. 12 lines, made up of a septet (7 lines) followed by a cinquain (5 lines). Rhyme scheme (Ra)bbccbR abbaR, R being the rentrement.

It’s grilled cheese sandwich day, yippee
Double Gloucester, Cheddar, Leicester
How about a nice Fiesta
Pecorino or Padano
Go exoctic, add some Feta
It’s grilled cheese sandwich day

Why not try some Greek Halloumi
Wensleydale or Acapella
Abbott’s Gold or Mozarella
Brie or Camembert so creamy
It’s grilled cheese sandwich day


Fear of the number 13. So obviously needs a 13-line poem;

A phobia’s an irrational fear
Look-out, April thirteenth is here
At least it isn’t on a Friday
That would be a run and hide day
Triskaidekaphobics why?
What is it gets you terrified?
Thirteen eating the last supper?
Apollo thirteen nearly scuppered?
Arrest and death of Templar Knights?
A Witches Coven causing frights?
Climb the gallows thirteen steps?
It’s not all bad, let’s not forget
Thirteen, pronounced shisan in Mandarin, means ‘assured growth’

Sonnet for Sunday

Of course it had to be a sonnet for the 14th. Probably the second most known poetry form after the limerick. Here I’ve tried to keep the tradition of writing in iambic pentameter (more-or-less).

Sundays – lazy days for taking easy
A long and tiring week is finally done
Spring time walks in fresh air, bright and breezy
The green buds sprouting ‘neath a wat’ry sun
Smells of coffee and of bacon frying
Kitchen table piled high with papers
Silence is so peaceful, no denying
Catching up with all your favourites’ capers
Fam’ly dinner, roast beef, all the trimmings
Home-made apple pie and custard after
Port then cheese and biscuits leaves you brimming
While the room is filled with happy laughter
A snooze then fun and games til News At Ten
Before you know it, Monday’s here again

First 15

Fifteen reminded me of a Rugby team, so I wrote this.

Loose head, Hooker, Tight head
Two times Second Row
Open and Blind Side Flankers
Number 8, scrum’s good to go

Scrum Half on to Fly Half
Centres In and Out
Left and Right Wing runners
The Full Back rounds it out

A game of tries and penalties
Of tackles, rucks and mauls
Rugby is a game played
By men with odd shaped balls

Bowel cancer awareness

April is Bowel Cancer UK’s Bowel Cancer Awareness Month.

Some people talk a lot of shit
And rarely know the answer
But it’s vital that you mention
If you’re worried ‘bout Bowel Cancer

You might see that you’re passing blood
From out your bum or poo
Or find that you are making lots
Of quick trips to the loo

Do not ignore persistent pain
Or if your tum seems swollen
This can indicate more serious
Stuff inside your colon

A loss of weight might seem quite good
Unless it is a shock
If you’re seeing any of these things
Make an appointment with the doc

Phil C.